Inside the Box

I've been wondering lately where my college experience went. I didn't study abroad. I don't have any crazy drug or hookup stories. I was pretty much on a mission to do well in school and get a job after, and now I have a job...but now what? I guess I should feel lucky to be employed at all, but lately I've been feeling like I wish I had stayed the full four years in school.

I wish I hadn't been afraid of seeming whitewashed and had tried going to an event put on by the Filipino clubs or Nikkei Student Union. I wish I hadn't been such a relationship-oriented person, and had had the gumption to live in a different country without family, friends, or boyfriend. I wish I had more outrageous stories--like going to a protest or streaking in the library.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I am a non-risk-taking, complacent, boring person. I don't currently work in a cubicle, but I will soon. My section of the company is leaving our building in the beginning of June. Then I will just be one of many, sitting in a soft-walled, gray box.