Just reading someone's old blog post made me think about self-esteem. In first grade, I had self-esteem classes with Harmony the Bear. I don't remember what Harmony said to us, not just because I have a poor memory, but also because I was chock-full of self-esteem back then. When did I love myself most? Probably right around that time.
At Gateway Montessori School, right before St. Angela's, if I wanted to chase a boy to get him to kiss me, I did it. We sang songs, and I tried to sing over everyone else. Outside of school, when my extended family would ask me to dance for them, I'd get on top of the nearest table and dance, not worrying about looking like a stripper. My aunt used to tell me I was the smartest girl in the world, and I believed her because that sort of praise isn't unbelievable when you have no idea how many people are really in the world. Sure, I thought...of course I am.
It's only now that we're older that it's hard to love ourselves as unconditionally as we did before. Most people can't even send flirtatious text messages without immediately thinking--well, that sounded idiotic. Now that I'm an adult, I could use some sessions with Harmony the Bear. If he told me his message now, I hope that I'd listen and believe him.
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Whether self-esteem comes from being, doing, or both, I think you have a whole heck of a lot to be proud of, Pamela Simon! : ) For instance, you weren't afraid to travel to another country by yourself and experience something new. You also did extremely well academically all throughout your life and have family and friends who love you because you're so thoughtful and loving and fun! Luckily for you, those things seem to come naturally, but it's the combination of those qualities with the time and effort you put into all of your relationships that makes you even more lovable. : )
ReplyDeletethis was a really good post, pammy... thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
ReplyDeleteagreed with the other elves above this comment! Pam, I think you have a wonderful personality! I have always told you that you say it like it is to me...That is absolutely one of my favorite things about you! You can get me to do almost anything because you are sweet and true and honest and loving! I think you are beautiful inside and out! At St. Juliana's, instead of Harmony the Bear we had project self esteem. The mascots were these weird little fuzzy ball things with smiley faces....weird. Anywho, perhaps your self esteem is out-of-whack, because if I know you well enough....you are spending too much time in England thinking! And that is probably because you have the time to do so! But just enjoy! This is it...you're not gonna be in England again anytime soon. Things wil work out here in the states as they're supposed to.
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